Wednesday, June 28, 2017


Hello. This is a public PSA, I have exactly no ideas. Thank you.

Monday, May 29, 2017

Dire Situations

I'm just here to establish a albi
because i was hoping for better days
but i guess it's just not in the cards tonight 

and my brain is in stage four of a dire situation
because i can't seem to wake up from myself 
but i can carry on my week 
just not very well

and i've talked and talked again
but nothing is really helping but i know i really don't like how i've been feeling 

i keep moving but can't seem to go anywhere 
and I'm blue on the inside and it's creeping to the outside 
And i'm happy when i'm mad and mad when i'm sad 

i just can't seem to get ahold of what's going on in my head 

Sunday, May 21, 2017

No place

I haven't posted anything at all this month, which is my fault of course but I haven't been able to write anything that I really like so here's just a little something half done.

Engulfed in reds and blues
twisted in perception and the jealousy of who knows who

the walls have eyes
and they don't like what they see

i've got crystals growing in my heart
and cobwebs in every corner of my body
taking up valuable space I really don't have

pieces that won't fit together anymore
and letters addressed to no one

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Dedicated to you

I wrote you a word
with my favorite blue pen
three words actually but i didn't start counting 
until that word turned into a sentence 
and that sentence turned into a paragraph 
and that paragraph turned into a letter
and that letter turned into a short story
and that short story turned into a seven hundred page novel
that i dedicated to you 
but unfortunately 
it was written with your least favorite shade
of blue

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Same voice different place

Its a three way conversation in my head but I don't know who to listen to first

and I feel selfish for turning them off and on

But sometimes the rattling of these old bones gets annoying 
and ever since those cobwebs took up residency it gets pretty lonely

So I pick at the stitching on my sheets till the thread comes loose 
and I try to comfort myself in it but it's just string
wrapped around my finger like any other night

as strangers headlights bounce off the walls
painting shadows till they blend in
and I get tired of it

So I'll listen to the noise in my head for one more night 
and hope they come to an agreement 

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Another story

I was the undertakers paycheck this week 
I put the milk and eggs in his refrigerator 

my headstone was crafted by a strangers hand
With another Bukowski quote slapped on like an honor student bumper sticker

They picked out my coffin while I was away
In all honesty though, they picked the prettiest one
With crimson velvet and beautiful mahogany wood

Too bad I wouldn't know the difference between it and a cardboard box

They dug that hole
Not really caring if it was lopsided or exactly six feet deep 
Just as long as it would get the job done 

Then the preacher spoke the same words said at a funeral yesterday and the same ones he would say at another one tomorrow 

And lowered me to the ground 
Tousled and upheaved to hurry it up and tossed dirt on top of my casket to engulf that expensive wood

thank goodness it was over and I could leave

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Please listen

that is all

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Monday, March 13, 2017

Six word stories

⋆❈ - <a href="/DannieC123/" title="daniela ☪">@daniela ☪</a> - ❈⋆

Even anchors couldn't weigh her down

Aesthetic #8

Oh you know I did it

It's over and I feel fine
Nothing you could say is gonna change my mind

Waiting and I wait at the longest night
Nothing like the taste to sweet decline

|| credits: <a href="/penpen0078/" title="penny">@penny</a> take it off? you'll be seeing my face blurry like this hand, and seeing Jesus soon. that's all I gotta say.

I was down, I fell, I fell so fast
Dropping like the grains in an hourglass

Never say forever cause nothing last
Dancing with the thorns of my buried past

Nevermind there's nothing I can do
Bet your life there's something killing you

aesthetics, alternative, beautiful, blurry, grunge, hippie, indie, tumblr,

It's a shame we have to die my dear

No ones getting out of here, alive
This time


Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Aesthetic #7

Muscle to muscle and toe to toe
The fear has gripped me but here I go

Don’t we touch each other just to prove we are still here? - Ocean Vuong:

My heart sinks as I jump up
Your hand grips hand as my eyes shut

⎾ ❝ Tᴏɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴠɪᴄᴛᴏʀɪᴏᴜs, ᴄʜᴀᴍᴘᴀɢɴᴇ ᴘᴏᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴜs. ❞ ⏌:

Do you know where the wild things go?
They go along to take your honey, la, la, la

paint this on a wall:

Break down, now sleep
Build up breakfast, now let's eat
My love my love, love, love

- ̗̀  @bagmilk   ̖́-:

She bruises, coughs, she splutters pistol shots
Hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks

GOLDEN BLOOD TUMBLR - Pesquisa Google:

She's morphine, queen of my vaccine
My love, my love, love, love, la, la, la

Thursday, February 2, 2017

White flags

i want to be listened to
but i don't even know
the commotion inside my brain

and obscure words
form at the tip of my tongue
but never make it past my teeth

so white flags are waving
by 10 pm
gripped in my hands as i sleep

the walls have ears
and doors are eyes
so many of us tell little white lies
soaked in the crimson color of regret
as it gets easier with each and every time

down in the chorus
screams their voices
trying to drown everyone out

head held higher
times are getting dire
with each and every sun rise

keep your head above water
quickly floating towards the storm
getting heavier with each and every turn

trembling hands never made great fighters
head held higher
as it gets quieter

quickly moving towards the chorus
quickly leaving the storm
quickly hearing their voices get hoarse

leaving little white flags hoisted

Patterson Maker:


Sunday, January 22, 2017

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Slytherin Aesthetic

You need a little bit of insanity to do great things- Henry Rollins

Gryffindor Aesthetic

“It is not the strength of the body that counts, but the strength of the spirit.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien

Hufflepuff Aesthetic

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tomorrow." 

Ravenclaw Aesthetic

Because I'm a freakin' nerd.

Wisdom begins in wonder- Socrates

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Beetle Juice

you get so worked up before you go to sleep
and who wouldn't after that display
maybe shouldn't have drank that third cup of coffee
or that benadryl that makes your heart beat a little too fast
a little too quick

a little too late

but trust me, those thoughts are okay
once you get used to them
you should see how many i get a day
twelve before ten a.m
on a Tuesday

doesn't bother me a bit

beetle juice
beetle juice
beetle juice

i guess those aren't ghost i'm hearing

Macabre Art:

Aesthetic #6

                                                                 You have set your heart

                                                         On haunting me forever

                                                     From the start
It's never silent

                                                                                             Ever since we met

                                                                          I only shoot up with your perfume

                                                                                             It's the only thing
That makes me feel as good as you do

pinterest - ❥@britttanym12❥:

Ever since we met

I've got just one regret to live through

And that one regret is you

A burial spot and joining bk w/ the Earth-which will later be incinerated and then, there we ALL are bk with the cycle of the Universe joining directly in the stars oal.:

How does a heart love, if no one has noticed its presence

And where does it go?

The Ancient Serpent:

Trembling hands play my heart like a drum

But the beat's gotten lost in the show

After the time: Ita convierte a S, y para los demás S murió, su corazón dejó de latir y sus pulmones se detuvieron, aunque tenía algunos reflejos nerviosos, pero el doctor dijo: es más común de lo que cree, señor. -al policia que investigaba. S era sano y muy joven para morir. Durante la madrugada, después del lluvioso entierro de S, con la neblina inundando el cementerio, había un hombre esperando con una lampara y de la tumba de S salió cubierto de tierra tras haber luchado por salir.:

                                                                                     Panic! At the Disco- Nearly Witches

Monday, January 16, 2017

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A talk with death

i talked to death for the first time in months
wasn't looking too well
new bags underneath his eyes
and his clothes seemed a little worn out

our words seemed forced
like friend who hadn't seen each other for awhile
but i soon warmed up
he told me he missed me
and how i use to always try and meet him

i haven't felt like that for awhile
i confessed
i got better
i explained

and i'm happy you did
he told me
because our meetings always happened too soon
too fast
the timing was always wrong

i was just trying to do my job
but i couldn't carry out the task
he tried to say
not when you were like that

I have to breathe : Photo:

Saturday, January 14, 2017

10 resolutions for 2017

1: Workout more daily, hopefully achieve a better body by summer. I'm nowhere near over weight, but it would be nice just to tone up.

2: Write more. I completely stopped writing for awhile just because I got bored but now I'm back at it again.

3: Learn to chill. I'm a stresser, I stress so much that it's probably not healthy so I would like to stop.

4: Volunteer more.

5: Eat clean, I eat a lot of junk food because I have zero concern for my well being

6: Try new things and take risk.

7: Be the best at everything I do. I'm a very competitive person, there's no other reason for this.

8: Do not care about what other people say or think about me because in the end we're all going to die anyway.

9: Journal more, I'm a forgetful person and I just suck at writing down my life

10: Learn a new language.

For more fitness motivation: in-pursuit-of-fitnessFor healthy...

Thursday, January 12, 2017


nothing good happens at 3 am
those self reliant thoughts shoot out of my head and head for the exit
as soon as my head hits the pillow

the lights are on but nobody's home
and they haven't been home for quite awhile

but i'm okay
i've only measured the closet one today
and practiced tying that rope twice this hour

at this time the only thing that keeps me company is my thoughts
and they're not very good guest

i've bought a bullet where there should've been a necklace
and i tried to drown my voice in that pool out back
but it just gets carried away

and i wanna get better
but i don't wanna let go
maybe at 4am

Aesthetic #5

I don't know why I feed on emotion
There's a stomach inside my brain
I don't wanna be heard
I want to be listened to

Does it bother anyone else
That someone else has your name?
Does it bother anyone else
That someone else has your name, your name?

I'd be hiding them convos too ya fucking nasty haha but I'm the one doing shit dead afff:

I scream, you scream, we all scream
'Cause we're terrified of what's around the corner
We stay in place

Down in the forest
We'll sing a chorus
One that everybody knows

☼ ☾ Pinterest: @thequeenalexis:

Hands held higher,
We'll be on fire
Singing songs that nobody wrote.

Forest - Twenty Øne Piløts

Lines going to be turned into poetry soon (hopefully)

kept a bullet where there should have been a ring instead 

when the chorus was playing in my room at 1 am

stuck my head in the swimming pool out back

I'm not but my thoughts areinsomniac

should could would cussed you out

maybe that smoke could be my doubts

that necklace became a noose

but don't say beetlejuice

spiders crawling up my spine

i thought they weren't but those thoughts were only mine

twirled the string till my finger turned blue

thought i walked a thousand miles but it was just no one

Bad poetry

So there's been a lot of really really really bad poems posted lately, which I apologize to your eyes for but I'm also okay with it because I haven't really written anything for awhile so it's nice to just get back into the swing of things.

But they're still pretty bad.

So you're probably going to see a lot of them for awhile.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Little ghost

little ghost little ghost why do you hear me the most
floating between my ribcage and drifting past my iris
intertwine in my hand
fingers grasping little wisps

little ghost little ghost gotta get out of my head
find a new host
gotta scare someone else because i don't think my heart can take this much more
bone's are cracking and teeth are rattling when you float around
too bad i'm the only one who sees you

little ghost little ghost please just go
i can't survive on this little sleep because you keep me awake at night
talking to me in that voice that sends shivers through my spine
too bad i'm the only one who hears you
i would send you away in a heartbeat

little ghost little ghost i don't want you around anymore
it's not fun like it was before
you're not the same like at first
you don't hang around to help me anymore
i want you gone
but who would i talk to when i'm awake at night

"i looked around the clean room, wondering where i was, and why i was in it.":

Monday, January 9, 2017

The jams of lately


I Wanna Get Better- Bleachers

Entertain-  Sleater Kinney

UGH!- The 1975

Shine- Mondo Cozmo


I'm morphine pumping through my veins
banned from pleasant dreams and a good night sleep
life worries over in the backseat

sprained ankles keeping me grounded on this earth
wished one too many times to leave
but kept on walking

choked up words and battered hands
from pounding on my closet door
but my ego's more bruised than them

hoarse voice but haven't even whispered a word
my brain hurts from the clutter
i want to scoop it out and wash it off

drown my stomach with water to see if i can cough it up
i think it's here to stay though
the butterflies turned into crows
All Alright

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Miss Dreamer

Oh miss dreamer
what a heavy sleeper
with your head on my chest
rising with every breath

Oh miss dreamer
how you toss and turn in bed
our words don't seem to hold
our lovers quarrels have lost their edge

Oh miss dreamer
what happened to your slumber
that changed the way you slept
is that why there's stale liquor your breath

Oh miss dreamer
tell me have you seen her?
six months have passed
but even your slumber can't last

Oh miss dreamer
are you still a heavy sleeper?
where does your head rest
Do you still rise with every breath?
untitled - c eliot sarna

Saturday, January 7, 2017

Aesthetic #4

     Am I more than you bargained for yet?
      I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
  'Cause that's just who I am this week

Untitled | Flickr - Photo Sharing!:

    Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum 
 I'm just a notch in your bedpost
   But you're just a line in a song

Patrick Joust — photography @ ShockBlast:
  I'm just a notch in your bedpost 
 But you're just a line in a song

she awoke in him something of only his dreams, now real with fear and warmth.
   Drop a heart, break a name 
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team
   We're going down, down in an earlier round
   And, sugar, we're going down swinging

T H E _ C O L L E C T O R:

  I'll be your number one with a bullet
  A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it


                            Sugar We're Going Down- Fall Out Boy

Friday, January 6, 2017

Aesthetic #3

I wanna get better

☾T h i s   i s   g o s p e l☽   @sofiloera:

'Cause I'm sleeping in the back of a taxi

I'm screaming from my bedroom window
Even if its gonna kill me

∙✧☾pinterest: kahlocactus☽✧∙:

Woke up this morning early before my family

From this dream where she was trying to show me
How a life can move from the darkness
She said to get better

Pinterest// @whysoperfectt

So I put a bullet where I shoulda put a helmet

And I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away

dawn // sunset // monroeville // aesthetic // ambience // earth // natural // inhabited:

That's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself,

¨most of the time when i see your flashing eyes i wonder if when we wake up from this will you still be the same or please god don't tell me you've changed¨-m.h.:

"Hey, I wanna get better!"

I Wanna Get Better- Bleachers