i shaved my head

i shaved my hair right down to the roots
because my body felt dirty no matter how many showers i took
no matter how hot the water was
no matter how hard i scrubbed

my skin crawled every time i took a step
itchy and rough to the touch

i shaved my head right down to the scalp
because my being felt used
no matter how much i slept
no matter how the day went about

my body ached every time i took a breath
empty and raw every time i felt my chest rise and fall

i shaved my head right down to the skin
because my eyes filled every time i looked in the mirror
no matter how i felt
no matter how much i wanted to like what i saw

my mind hurt every time i examined myself in the reflection
unforgiving and distraught

i shaved my head
because i was told it would make me feel absolutely empowered
instead i felt small and vulnerable

i shaved my head and it didn't fix any of my problems