Six words story

Cigarettes are always cheaper than therapy 

Slytherin Aesthetic

You need a little bit of insanity to do great things- Henry Rollins

Gryffindor Aesthetic

“It is not the strength of the body that counts, but the strength of the spirit.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien

Hufflepuff Aesthetic

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tomorrow." 

Ravenclaw Aesthetic

Because I'm a freakin' nerd.

Wisdom begins in wonder- Socrates

Beetle Juice

you get so worked up before you go to sleep
and who wouldn't after that display
maybe shouldn't have drank that third cup of coffee
or that benadryl that makes your heart beat a little too fast
a little too quick

a little too late

but trust me, those thoughts are okay
once you get used to them
you should see how many i get a day
twelve before ten a.m
on a Tuesday

doesn't bother me a bit

beetle juice
beetle juice
beetle juice

i guess those aren't ghost i'm hearing

Aesthetic #6

                                                                 You have set your heart

                                                         On haunting me forever

                                                     From the start

It's never silent

                                                                                             Ever since we met

                                                                          I only shoot up with your perfume

                                                                                             It's the only thing

That makes me feel as good as you do

Ever since we met

I've got just one regret to live through

And that one regret is you

How does a heart love, if no one has noticed its presence

And where does it go?

Trembling hands play my heart like a drum

But the beat's gotten lost in the show

                                                                                     Panic! At the Disco- Nearly Witches

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A talk with death

i talked to death for the first time in months
wasn't looking too well
new bags underneath his eyes
and his clothes seemed a little worn out

our words seemed forced
like friend who hadn't seen each other for awhile
but i soon warmed up
he told me he missed me
and how i use to always try and meet him

i haven't felt like that for awhile
i confessed
i got better
i explained

and i'm happy you did
he told me
because our meetings always happened too soon
too fast
the timing was always wrong

i was just trying to do my job
but i couldn't carry out the task
he tried to say
not when you were like that

10 resolutions for 2017

1: Workout more daily, hopefully achieve a better body by summer. I'm nowhere near over weight, but it would be nice just to tone up.

2: Write more. I completely stopped writing for awhile just because I got bored but now I'm back at it again.

3: Learn to chill. I'm a stresser, I stress so much that it's probably not healthy so I would like to stop.

4: Volunteer more.

5: Eat clean, I eat a lot of junk food because I have zero concern for my well being

6: Try new things and take risk.

7: Be the best at everything I do. I'm a very competitive person, there's no other reason for this.

8: Do not care about what other people say or think about me because in the end we're all going to die anyway.

9: Journal more, I'm a forgetful person and I just suck at writing down my life

10: Learn a new language.

3am

nothing good happens at 3 am
those self reliant thoughts shoot out of my head and head for the exit
as soon as my head hits the pillow


the lights are on but nobody's home
and they haven't been home for quite awhile

but i'm okay
i've only measured the closet one today
and practiced tying that rope twice this hour

at this time the only thing that keeps me company is my thoughts
and they're not very good guest

i've bought a bullet where there should've been a necklace
and i tried to drown my voice in that pool out back
but it just gets carried away

and i wanna get better
but i don't wanna let go
maybe at 4am

Aesthetic #5

I don't know why I feed on emotion
There's a stomach inside my brain
I don't wanna be heard
I want to be listened to

Does it bother anyone else
That someone else has your name?
Does it bother anyone else
That someone else has your name, your name?

I scream, you scream, we all scream
'Cause we're terrified of what's around the corner
We stay in place

Down in the forest
We'll sing a chorus
One that everybody knows

Hands held higher,
We'll be on fire
Singing songs that nobody wrote.

Forest - Twenty Øne Piløts

Lines going to be turned into poetry soon (hopefully)

kept a bullet where there should have been a ring instead 

when the chorus was playing in my room at 1 am

stuck my head in the swimming pool out back

I'm not but my thoughts areinsomniac


should could would cussed you out

maybe that smoke could be my doubts

that necklace became a noose

but don't say beetlejuice

spiders crawling up my spine

i thought they weren't but those thoughts were only mine

twirled the string till my finger turned blue

thought i walked a thousand miles but it was just no one

Bad poetry

So there's been a lot of really really really bad poems posted lately, which I apologize to your eyes for but I'm also okay with it because I haven't really written anything for awhile so it's nice to just get back into the swing of things.

But they're still pretty bad.

So you're probably going to see a lot of them for awhile.

Little ghost

little ghost little ghost why do you hear me the most
floating between my ribcage and drifting past my iris
intertwine in my hand
fingers grasping little wisps

little ghost little ghost gotta get out of my head
find a new host
gotta scare someone else because i don't think my heart can take this much more
bone's are cracking and teeth are rattling when you float around
too bad i'm the only one who sees you

little ghost little ghost please just go
i can't survive on this little sleep because you keep me awake at night
talking to me in that voice that sends shivers through my spine
too bad i'm the only one who hears you
i would send you away in a heartbeat

little ghost little ghost i don't want you around anymore
it's not fun like it was before
you're not the same like at first
you don't hang around to help me anymore
i want you gone
but who would i talk to when i'm awake at night

The jams of lately

Breezeblocks-alt-J

I Wanna Get Better- Bleachers

Entertain-  Sleater Kinney

UGH!- The 1975

Shine- Mondo Cozmo

Scoop

I'm morphine pumping through my veins
banned from pleasant dreams and a good night sleep
life worries over in the backseat

sprained ankles keeping me grounded on this earth
wished one too many times to leave
but kept on walking

choked up words and battered hands
from pounding on my closet door
but my ego's more bruised than them

hoarse voice but haven't even whispered a word
my brain hurts from the clutter
i want to scoop it out and wash it off

drown my stomach with water to see if i can cough it up
i think it's here to stay though
the butterflies turned into crows

Miss Dreamer

Oh miss dreamer
what a heavy sleeper
with your head on my chest
rising with every breath

Oh miss dreamer
how you toss and turn in bed
our words don't seem to hold
our lovers quarrels have lost their edge


Oh miss dreamer
what happened to your slumber
that changed the way you slept
is that why there's stale liquor your breath

Oh miss dreamer
tell me have you seen her?
six months have passed
but even your slumber can't last

Oh miss dreamer
are you still a heavy sleeper?
where does your head rest
Do you still rise with every breath?

Aesthetic #4

     Am I more than you bargained for yet?

      I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear

  'Cause that's just who I am this week

    Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum 
 I'm just a notch in your bedpost
   But you're just a line in a song

                                        

  I'm just a notch in your bedpost 

 But you're just a line in a song

   Drop a heart, break a name 

We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team

   We're going down, down in an earlier round
   And, sugar, we're going down swinging

  I'll be your number one with a bullet

  A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

                            Sugar We're Going Down- Fall Out Boy

Aesthetic #3

I wanna get better

'Cause I'm sleeping in the back of a taxi

I'm screaming from my bedroom window

Even if its gonna kill me

Woke up this morning early before my family

From this dream where she was trying to show me

How a life can move from the darkness

She said to get better

                          

So I put a bullet where I shoulda put a helmet

And I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away

That's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself,

"Hey, I wanna get better!"

I Wanna Get Better- Bleachers

The aspect of a gap year

I'll turn 17 on April 11th this year.

 I never really thought I would be that old, even though it's not even close to what most would call old but age is a very concerning topic for me, and I'm reaching the time where I must pick and choose to do with my life path. Do I want to chose to go into college right after High School or do I want to take a year off for gap year? I know I want to row in college, I'm certain of that. 

If everything was rainbows and gumdrops I would get a scholarship to row but there's always the slim chance that won't happen, since college rowing is a lesser known sport then say, college football and so the number of scholarships they give out for rowing is much lower than football. 

Never less, why do I want to go right into college? I guess I figured it would be the right way to start if my life as an adult but would I be unhappy if I did that? I know I have so many things to do in my life and college might overtake that precious time. Obliviously I will be going to college no matter what, but maybe not at that particular time. 

I might have to rewrite my entire plan, but I might be happier that way.

Brain Rot

Starlight 

Star bright

First star I see tonight

Flick that lighter 

And see it shine

Let my mind rest tonight 

These compact voice in distress

Please Lord, give me a rest

24/7 they won't stop

24/7 my brain rots

24 voices in a row

Won't shut up and won't show

Their faces to match the sound

Wish they were six feet in the ground