crumpled up

Acknowledging her inability to grasp the concept

that she is unclothed and unable

to defend even the smallest image of herself

the softest touch feels like clothespins

snapping and latching

bruising particular spots and inches of her body

swallowing herself in layers upon layers of clothes and blankets

praying that these pieces of soft, warm fabric will guard her

as if she wore a suit of steel armor

the house mirrors are covered with tattered sheets

she is in mourning

of the memory of unbroken skin and intact empathy

tossed and thrown out alongside the rest of the garbage

after they finished

crumpled under the covers, pretending to count sheep

just a nap

I just want a nap but I'm so cold

so I asked her to keep me warm

curling around my legs

warming my oh so cold feet

slowly crawling across my torse

caressing my cheeks, 

keeping me warm from the world

all I want is a nap

just a nap 

to rest my oh so weary head and stop from thinking thoughts

that clouded my vision all day long

starting out as a break from a very long day

but a day turned into a month and a month into a year

I want to leave her behind but she's so warm

and I don't know if I could function without her

I can't let her go

my bones will rattle from the cold

and she rekindles my faith in the night

windows closed, blinds shut.

I couldn't wake up before nine even if I tried

so warm

so wonderful

so inviting that I would never really leave

even if I tried my hardest

always returning even after my longest break

seven months

or seven days

I come crawling back

for just a nap